Why do people worry over situations they can’t change? Why do people worry at all? These and more are some of the questions this book will help you answer. The world is not a bed of roses which you probably know by now. So when life hits you hard it is only natural you show concern for the situation. What is not normal is overthinking or worrying, and feeling that the world is collapsing on you.
The first fact you should have in mind is that everyone has their own problem and they are not meant to bring you down but instead make you stronger and a better person. You learn from experience and become wiser because dwelling in your anguish will only seek to destroy you. This book will show you how to stop worrying and start living.
Worrying at some point in everyone’s life is normal, what is not normal is worrying excessively and have a hard time managing your fears and anxiety. When the worry becomes excess, some people will often be advised to get professional help.
Let us take an example; someone who owns a dog for a pet, and from experience, dogs are men’s best friends. Say this dog goes missing for whatever reason, it will almost feel like losing a loved one maybe a sibling and you gradually begin to lose your mind. Eating will also become a problem, and you start noticing some signs of restlessness, fear of losing your dog, and you’d probably begin to overthink the situation, and you become very worried and anxious. If after a thorough search, you found the dog at a neighbors garden playing with other dogs and you suddenly realized you didn’t have any cause for worrying.
This simple example can be applied to other situations that may instigate worry and fear. They overthink things and let little things get to them or keep them up late at night overthinking. In this book, you will learn how to stop worrying about life issues and actually start living. You will also find out some of the effects of over worrying, and how best to tackle this sickness (Too much or excessive worry is a mental habit that can actually lead to a lot of damages if not death).
When you try to answer the question, why do people worry, you should first and foremost understand that worrying or anxiety involves unrealistic thinking and even the situation you worry over may or might not happen and you end up worrying about things that don’t exist. And even if it does happen, and you don’t have the power to change the outcome, it still normal in life. So there is no need to kill yourself over things that you have little control over. Worrying is unavoidable, however, it is not impossible to
So many people will say live for now and let tomorrow take care of itself. This simple saying does not suggest you don’t make plans, No! you can only make plans as humans, but somethings our plans don’t work out the way you want or planned which is ok that is how life is, you win some and you lose some.
People always worry (or anxious) when they feel sometimes big is going to happen, when there are troubling events when they are stressed and for some people over nothing. Worrying is almost normal when it does not occur always, some people worry even when everything is going fine, you may hear questions or speeches like “what if something bad happens” or “What if something goes wrong”, and other paranoia questions that keep you off the edge sometimes then you may already have a medical problem called Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Now, only an expert will be able to offer positive advice in this field or any medical field relating to this type of issue. However, people with the issue of overthinking or worrying are often advised to get professional help to help them control and correct this problem. If you worry too much you may have noticed physical signs like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, irregular heartbeats, muscle tension, and so on.
Everybody worries about somethings from time to time, but some people generally worry more about everything and even little things than others. These people live in constant fears, anxiety, and worry of even the minute of things, their work, home, finances, their future, etc. people like this are said to a mental illness called Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
GAD falls in the category of an illness called anxiety disorders. You find it hard most times to control your fears, anxiety or to stop worrying even when you try to stop.
This ailment comes with some symptoms and they are listed below:
- You often time Lack concentration because you are worrying and thinking about many things at the same time.
- Lack of good sleep and rest of mind. When the mind is disturbed and filled with so many thoughts, it is difficult to get a good rest or even peace of mind
- Feeling tired of nothing and sometimes tired of life. You feel like giving up most times and you lack the motivation to do anything.
- You constantly live in fear and even afraid to make decisions or even take the next step in your life or career.
- Constant Irritation is also a symptom of worry/anxiety. You are easily irritated by everything even the minute ones.
- Restlessness and as a result, you become moody always.
- Emotional Trauma, obsessive thinking, panic attacks, and for most people, worrying can even increase their blood pressure which can lead to death.
- It becomes hard making good decisions, and you have constant fatigue.
- Always living in fear and thoughts about the future.
Worrying can also cause some harm to your health and may even lead to serious physical health issues. Seeing a professional or finding ways to help you stop overthinking, and worrying can help you stay sane and live a healthier and happier life, just like you will discover in this book, you will know how to worry less, and start living for the moment.
Some situations may occur and you become concerned. Mind you, being concerned is quite different from worry. When people show concern, they are most likely thinking of the best solution for the problem they are facing at the moment, they do their best and keep an open mind for whatever the outcome may be.
People who worry think about the problem they have now, and at the same try to figure out what the outcome will look like. They often think about things that are not yet in existence, and the results they have experienced in the past.
As humans, you encounter challenges, which is normal in life after all the world is not perfect or rather humans are not perfect. However, some persons believe that most challenges are greater than others and so they worry more about their situation is justified. This is not very ideal, and not a good enough reason to overthink or worry a lot. Let us take look at some of the causes of Anxiety or Worry.
You should know that anything can make a person worry. Some people just take life easy and live for now which is a good way to worry less. And so many others worry about many things mainly due to difficult life experience, hardship and hard luck, family history, stressful events that they are currently facing, it may also be due to stress, personal factors for instance for kids or even adults who are a perfectionist or timid and easily influenced usually develop anxiety sometimes even at a tender age.
Aside from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), there are still other conditions you can encounter as a result of anxiety or worry. However, when you notice you cannot deal with these conditions yourself, you should look for support or professional help early.
Don’t try to bear the burden of carrying situations on your shoulders alone. Talk to someone, while this may not be a solution to your problem, it is often a good start to providing solutions. And just like the saying goes, “a problem shared is a problem solved”. Let us now look at some other type of anxiety conditions, they include:
Everyone or anybody will always feel nervous or anxious when they are to perform a social function or are in other types of social situations that put you in the spotlight. This may be rendering public speech, representing a high profile in an event for the first time, doing a presentation at work or maybe in school, etc.
These events can cause anyone to be nervous even for those who do it repeatedly. You constantly worry about how you are going to perform in public, and what will happen if you did badly. Many who lack confidence in themselves, or have low self-esteem will most times develop this fear of being laughed at, criticized, humiliated, and being embarrassed, and so on. The following example is my personal which should help you better understand what worrying does to you.
“I remember back in high school I was supposed to deliver a speech in front of the entire students and teachers at that time as the head boy or Senior Prefect which it was known for back in school. I was told two days before the day, and then I had to prepare a good speech as it was my first speech as a head boy (I was a very shy person). It almost felt like I was losing myself like something was eating me up from the inside out. I could not concentrate on any other activity, plus I did so much research on the type of speech I wanted to render I ended up being confused. The only shining light I got was a teacher telling me to keep it simple and just speak from my mind and just talk to the crowd like they were my friends. And that was the key because the speech was a success and ever since then I have followed the same procedure over and over when I have social or public activities”.
Signs and Symptoms to Know You Have Social Phobia
- If you have a phobia for social activities, or to speak or perform other public functions, you may notice the following as symptoms.
- You become sweaty whenever the thought of such events or functions comes to mind.
- You tremble and become all shaky with little or no confidence in yourself.
- You blush uncontrollably or you stammer and stutter words when you try to speak or address people.
- The last symptom you may also notice is that you constantly visit the comfort room because you suddenly developed diarrhea.
Now you may notice all or some of these symptoms, however, it is hardly noticed by others around you. The fear of many persons with social phobia is saying or doing the wrong things especially in public that will end up embarrassing or humiliating them. So they rather not show up for a public event/activity and if they do, you see them being so cautious of how they act and the things they do.
When you think of why some people develop a severe social phobia and so many others don’t, then it becomes easy to offer solutions and help.
What are the Causes of Social Phobia?
Some people will say that nobody was born with a specific phobia. That it is developed from fear of experience and encounter. However, there is some phobia that is genetic and they run in the family. So your dad or mom may have issues appearing in public, you as the child will also have such phobia you see yourself avoiding public activities or functions as you grow. If this is not controlled at a tender age, the person might grow up with the same phobia as the parent.
It could also be temperament. It may natural just be who you are and in such cases, it is often difficult to control when you are no longer a child.
From personal or indirect experience. The early growth of kids is so important. The traits you teach young kids may be difficult to change especially if it is a bad one. Publicly embarrassing a child, humiliating them, or treating them poorly can reduce the confidence of that child and thus make them avoid many social activities. If a kid remembers how he/she was disgraced or humiliated when they tried to answer a question in class or made a mistake while presenting a speech in school, it could cause a lot of mental and emotional damage to the kid.
Quick Solution to Help Conquer Social Phobia
There is really no quick treatment for this type of Phobia. It is best handled and the early stages of a child’s development age before they become older or adult. Another way is getting counsel or professional help. Two types of treatments usually recommended for this phobia are Psychological treatments, and then in some cases, drugs and medications may also become an option.
Personal or Specific Phobia
Other specific or personal fear you have may be classified under this category. You may not be scared of rendering public speeches but you have a phobia for heights, animals, traveling by plane or by sea and because you have watched people die from some of these things, the fear that you may die as well if you do those things will always be there.
People with a personal or specific phobia often time exaggerate what they feel is a threat to their lives or their safety. These fears are irrational and are only confined to your feelings or past encounters and experiences.
Example of specific phobia includes:
Animal phobia. Those who have fear for some animals or insects fall under this category.
Environmental or nature phobia. This type of phobia includes fear of height, thunder, lightning, water, fire, etc. all fall under this category
Medical Phobia. Some people are uncontrollably scared of blood, injections, injury, drugs, etc. they also fall under this category.
There more personal phobias that may not have been listed here. And just like mentioned, these phobias are confined to your mind, thoughts, and experience meaning that it is subjective. It may happen due to an encounter you had once as a child and you develop a phobia for it.
Symptoms and Signs of Specific Phobia
- Excessive and constant fear for a specific type of animal or object is heightened.
- You become selective of the places you go, the people you visit, and in most cases, you avoid meeting or visiting those places especially if the object or animal you have a phobia of is in the area.
- You most times see yourself being affected by such animals or objects for more than six months or a year.
What Causes Specific Phobias
Just like social phobia, temperament is one factor that causes this phobia. It may be your nature that you don’t like cats or dogs because of one reason or another.
Another factor that causes this type of phobia is the family history of the person. If it runs in the family, and either of your parents or even relatives have this type of condition, then you will likely see the signs.
If you have been bitten by a snake, or dog before, and suddenly you become so scared of dogs even pops. Then you also have phobia caused by your experience.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Let’s in the morning, you were in the kitchen making breakfast and then you eat and go out for work and your mind suddenly goes “oh! I think I forgot to turn off the oven of gas cylinder” and then you rush back or tell someone to help you check only to find out that you did turn it off that morning. This type of anxious thought is generally helpful sometimes to help you stay safe and based on the example I just gave it can also save lives.
It becomes an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when this type of thoughts almost consistently. You begin to lose your mind and it may happen more than once, so you have to constantly check the gas or oven some cases you will check the gas or oven for the entire day.
People who suffer from this type of condition are often embarrassed by their situation and so they try to conceal it from others. When they conceal such a condition, it becomes very difficult to notice or diagnose. When this type of condition is usually noticed is when the victim begins to skip major activities as result.
Symptoms and Signs of OCD
Some people may be obsessed with dirt and they try to avoid getting their hands dirty, and sometimes, they may become obsessed with washing a household object because they fear it may have been contaminated.
Some OCD conditions are concerned with sexual issues. You are sickened by the thought of sex or sexual activities.
For many people one security phobia or another, you most times develop this fear for your safety and you are constantly on the edge and thinking that someone somewhere wants to hurt you or the people you love.
In our world, religion is a way of life and almost everyone on earth is committed to one religion or the other. However, some people find themselves feeling the urge to pray often thinking that if they don’t, one bad thing or another may occur.
Causes of OCD
There are two main factors namely biological and experienced or environmental factors that may cause this type of condition to occur. And sometimes a combination of both can lead to an increase of the diverse effect of this condition.
Biological conditions such as neurological factors are one of the major contributing factors for this type of condition. When there is an imbalance level of serotonin in your system, the message being transmitted between your brain cells is disrupted. This often causes abnormalities in the brain and may lead to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Another factor that may cause this condition to occur is behavioral factors. Behaviors are easily learned especially amongst peers, bad behaviors spread faster.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
When most people pass through a devastating event, trauma, or other incidents that may have threatened their lives or safety, they develop a negative behavior or fear. Now while some people actually outgrow this fear and become stronger with time, some others are tied and are often left traumatized by the thought of it. Example of cases that can cause Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are Loss of a family member or loved ones, Being involved in a serious car accident, being a victim of rape or sexual abuse, being a victim of torture or abuse, if you are a victim of fire, and so on.
Those who suffer from this type of condition need to seek immediate help from professionals because research has shown that not everyone has the ability to get over this condition on their own.
Signs and Symptoms associated with this type of condition
Aside from the fact you may constantly see the memory or pictures of past events re-occurring in your head, you will most times feel scared or panic at the slightest thought or memory of such incident.
You most times feel like you are reliving the trauma of past events over and over again. So you get the constant nightmares, or probably flash images of what had occurred.
You are always on the edge and alert, you don’t get enough sleep because you are not at peace because you fear you might be in danger or attacked at any time.
Because the effect of the incident or event that occurred is so devastating, you begin to avoid things that may remind you of such incidents. Say you were raped, you see yourself become scared of sex or even men
You put up the unconcerned emotion and you lose interest in everything including life, you just stop living.
People with this type of condition are often depressed, pale, become addicts to drugs, alcohol, and so on just to reduce the effect of the trauma.
Panic attacks are a condition where you constantly suddenly have attacks of fear. It is usually due to past horrifying experiences and bad memory from accidents and others, when the pictures start playing in your head or you see something that triggers that memory, you get an attack. For some people, panic attacks occur as a result of family background or history, while for some others, it is simply a medical condition but either way, they must be treated to avoid severe damage.
When panic attacks occur, they usually last for about 10 to 30 minutes. And during that time, you are left feeling tired, weak, and sometimes even worse and this feeling does not just happen once in a day, it is re-occurring frequently every time and could happen for a whole day.
What are the Symptoms of Panic Attacks?
Almost everyone has experienced or will eventually experience panic attacks at some point in their lives. Although some cases are more severe and some affect some people more than others, you will generally notice the following symptoms.
- The feeling of overwhelming panic or fear
- The feeling that you are dying, choking, losing control, or going mad
- You’d notice a severely increased heart rate
- You begin to have difficulty breathing (feeling that you don’t have enough air)
- Feeling choked
- Excessive perspiration
- Dizziness, light-headedness, or feeling faint.
Anyone can experience panic attacks, it has no age restrictions and no time limit. However, it is most common amongst adults and it is less likely to happen to children and aged people.
What Causes Panic Attacks
You can’t always pinpoint a thing as the cause of a panic attack. Several factors contribute to this disorder. It could be a disease you are suffering from or a genetic condition, and most times it is as a result of horrible past experiences.
Diseases such as cardiac arrhythmias, hyperthyroidism, asthma, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and irritable bowel syndrome can also cause you to have panic disorder.
Most persons simply inherit these conditions from their parents. Maybe their parents in the past have suffered from severe panic disorder, you the child will start experiencing some of the symptoms.
Another factor that can propagate this condition is when you go through a horrifying condition and then you start getting flashes of those moments over and over again.
It is advisable to visit a specialist when you notice even the slightest symptom. Panic attacks if not correctly handled can lead to serious mental disorders, and you could become dangerous to people around you or yourself.
First, you should look at some of the facts about worrying, and maybe they will help you feel better about the situation. When you think about what is actually making you worry, anxious, or scared, your mind should go that someone somewhere has passed through similar situations (Maybe there might be some difference, but they are all generally the same) and they came out stronger.
In other words, there is always a solution for each challenge in life, and someone out there already has your solution you just have to reach out to people and not suffer alone in silence.
You should try not to think so much about what will happen in the future because you cannot control future occurrences, just think about today because that what you can try to control.
Another thing you should keep in mind is the health implications that come with worrying or overthinking. So many people do not realize the health implications of excessive worry or anxiety. The report has also shown that some people develop High Blood Pressure (HBP) which can also be caused by too much worry and may lead to death in most severe cases.
- When you are faced with a problem, fear, or other factors that cause you to be anxious or to worry, ask yourself the following questions:
- What is the problem, and what is the worst possible result of not being able to provide a viable solution for the problem?
- What are the causes of the problem, and then try to create a scenario where you become mentally prepared for what the outcome maybe?
- What are the possible solutions, and also find other solutions to help improve your worst calculated outcomes?
- What is the best solution, select the best possible solution, you can also ask people who have successfully come out of such situations for advice?
Worrying is bad, but when you begin to have negative thoughts about your situation, it because worst and dangerous. A positive mindset can help you stay happy and sane even in very bad situations.
- When you encounter some difficult situation it is always important not to use extreme solutions, I mean the all-or-nothing type of solutions. First of all, that type of thinking will only make matters worse even when it provides solutions, it is not really the most viable solution.
- Arriving or jumping to a sudden conclusion for a situation you are faced with can lead to bad judgment or bad decisions. When faced with a new situation even the most devastating of them, you must do well to gather your facts and question your facts before you take the next decision can help offer a better way out.
- Your emotions are the next factors that will well determine how you handle your worries. When you are in trouble you become scared or afraid, when you are at peace you are excited when you have done a terrible thing, you are filled with guilt, when you are frustrated you become angry, and so on. These are some of the emotions you get as a human. People generally worry when they are in danger, or trouble, they become afraid, it is important to know how to manage your emotions and understand yourself and how to control your feelings.
- One thing you encounter as a human when you have passed through a trauma or a terrible experience is doubt. You lose your confidence, and maybe even blame yourself for being in such a situation that you probably have no control over. Self-doubt is one serious issue anyone can face, they say if life puts you down 9 times you get up 10 times, but when you doubt your abilities you don’t even get up the first time.
- Creating expectations and goals for yourself is great, it is what makes you grow as a person. However, creating unrealistic goals or expectations for yourself will hurt you more than it profits you. When you try to achieve so much in a very short period of time, you should also have in mind that you could lose so much in a very short period as well. Big expectations come with big rewards and big risks so you must keep an open mind, and try not to feel too disappointed, frustrated, angry, or lose fate when things don’t go the way you had planned.
- Everything in life is 50-50 which means your future is not determined by you so it is left to chance or fate. One thing everyone must know is that with each decision you take, you take a chance at life. So, it might work or not work but then you still have to make those decisions. When you accept this fact, it becomes easier to stop blaming yourself for every problem you face and start looking for viable solutions and ways out. Control what you can change and try to do the best, and hope for good for things that are beyond your control. This simple practice will bring you peace of mind even when situations are bad.
One of life’s secrets to help you stay mentally and bodily strong is to worry less about the past, not worry about the future, and expect the worst while hoping for the best.
Living in the moment while worrying less about the future or the experiences of the past will help you stay healthy and avoid the health consequences of worrying, help control your emotions better, and even improves your relationship with others. Here are the top 20 tips to help start living in the moment.
- You Have to Overcome Your Worry
It is actually very rewarding to remain calm and not lose your cool when you face life challenges. When your mind begins to race fast when you encounter an issue, and it begins to show you a million and one ways the outcome of the situation may unfold. Being calm in every situation helps you understand and see things the way they thoroughly are. Try to focus more on the solutions that help your situation and worry less about what the outcome will be.
- Ensure You Live Today To the Fullest
Not many people have the ability to live in the moment when they encounter a problem. It becomes daunting when they face a bigger problem of self-doubt which would mostly lead to poor decision-making.
No one ever wants to encounter problems in life and yet life happens and you have no other choice but to face it. Results of the past can also be a constant reminder of painful emotions, which many may try to avoid, and some worry that the future might turn out with the same result. To stop the pain of the past, people cling to bad habits such as drinking, eating excessively, drugs, or sex. The best way to deal with such a situation is to first avoid things that constantly remind you of the past, if possible imagine a time when things were good (the good memories) and develop a positive mindset.
- Talk to Someone About It
Not too many people like to talk about their problem or even share it with some. They might not just feel comfortable discussing their problems and prefer keeping it within. The problem is then when you suffer alone it eats you from the inside until it kills or destroys you.
I get that not everyone is worth sharing your problems with maybe you feel they’d take advantage of the situation, or maybe you are the shy type. Talking to a professional with lots of experience goes a long way to providing a lasting solution to your problem.
- Keep An Open Mind for the Worst Possible Outcome
This technique will help you not expect so much and end up being disappointed. When you keep an open mind knowing that situations can either turn-out good or bad, you prepare your mind for the worst and you don’t end up feeling disappointed when things don’t go your way.
- Practice Mindfulness
Living in the moment does come anyway else than being mindful of what is happening presently. Being mindful of the present situation keeps you in touch with reality.
You gain much more control of what you think, of your body, your emotions, and your environment when you are mindful.
Being mindful is simply creating that sense of awareness of the things around us, and becoming more observant and calmer with our approach to situations. Simple hacks to help you develop the mindfulness mindset are meditations, being selective of the actions and activities you engage with, and so on.
- Borrow the Stop Loss Strategy
Forex traders and stock traders use the stop-loss strategy to cut their losses before it gets worsts and they lose their investment. You too can borrow a page from this strategy. cut your losses if you can and move on.
- Try Not To Think About What People will Say
Do not mistake talking to a professional or a family member about a situation with confiding in a stranger. Not everyone can help your situation so do well to pick out who you tell your story. Possibly, find those who have been through what you are going through or those who have some experience that offers a valuable solution that helps you out.
- Cultivate That Habit to Rest and Calm your Nerve it Helps A Lot
When you don’t overthink but make out time to reflect and rest, it helps you relax and to think better. Always get a nap, life can’t be too hard there people in worst situations than you are.
- Keep All Your Focus on Finding Solutions
Always Challenge What You Think and try to focus on providing lasting solutions to your immediate problems.
- Change Your Mindset of Negativity
Don’t always think the worst or assume things will go wrong because your guts suggest so. You want to see the ocean, and you start imagining “what if the ship sinks” and another bad thing happens. This type of thoughts will definitely create fear and doubt in you and also cloud your decision.
- How to Pay the Bills – the bills will always keep coming, so don’t let them keep you up at night. One step at a time, work hard and do the best you can.
- Making Money – everyone wants to make money which is good money brings comfort. But don’t let it take over your thoughts.
- Forget Your Past – the past is there to guide you don’t make it your punishment.
- What Will People Say – people always talk about everything, when you worry about everything everyone says, you might go insane. Do what is best for you, after all, it’s your life and you only live once.
- Things going wrong – you want to go out today but you are worried the traffic might be too busy or your car might break down, etc. you always thinking about things going is carrying the negative mindset, which affects your judgments or decisions.
- Your Job, or Work – work stress can be so frustrating and exhausting especially when you are not in your desired occupation. If you are not ok with your occupation, quit and find something that makes you happy.
- Becoming Older or Aging – aging is normal you can’t live young forever. You have to accept these facts and open your mind to them.
- Death – everyone dies eventually and at some point.
- Being Perfect – no one is perfect, we all have one flaw or the other even the world is not perfect so why do you feel you have to make yourself perfect?
- You Mistakes – mistakes are sure to happen but then let is define you. Take your correction and learn from it life shouldn’t be that hard.
When life hits you hard, remember it can only break you when let it. You have to fight back, and this is not just physically, it is both emotionally and otherwise. Develop the never-give-up mindset and always remember that there is no situation in life that is worth your life.
When you are in a dark corner or bad moment in your life, always try to reach out and never suffer in silence, and just as the saying goes “a problem shared is a problem solved”. Find things that will make you happy or better still distract you from negative thoughts and try to always look at the good memories it would help ease the pain and bring you comfort.
It is normal to be concerned when things are not going as planned or when you are faced with a problem. But when you begin to worry and panic it becomes worse because you make bad decisions at moments like that. Try to remain calm even in the face of any danger it helps the nerves and clears the head.
The past must always serve as a lesson but never hold on to it rather learn from it and move on life is too short.